OXFAMS I care about her campaign; men fighting GBV

A few weeks ago the world was rocked by the story of the Indian girl who was gang raped on a bus by four men.

Indian citizens then took to the streets to demand that something be done to protect women in the country.

An overwhelming number of Indians marched to protest

The most overwhelming outcry surprisingly came from the men; it was inspiring to see old men on crutches, young men with placards and school boys screaming for the female citizens of India.

Inspiring and surprising because in most cases when an incident of Gender Based Violence (GBV) occurs it is mostly women or women organisations that speak out.

However if an issue is to be tackled it is vital to address its roots that is; to change the attitudes which birth that problem.

It is an indisputable fact that most GBV cases are committed by males and thus it only makes sense that men are mobilised to fight it.

OXFAM Zambia’s “I care about her campaign "
is helping to bridge the gap in the fight against GBV by bringing men on board.

Nelson Banda who is the Country Representative for the Network of Men against GBV in Malawi, Zambia and Kenya says that men in the past where not active in the fight against GBV despite been the main perpetrators.

“There are men who are good so it is vital to use them to influence others in communities, churches and schools in changing mindsets.”

 Mr Banda says adding that there is need for more men to start speaking out as well as to talk to young boys so they grow up with a better attitude towards women.

At the launch of The 16 days of Gender Activism on November 25 many were amazed to see a large group of men marching with a banner that said “I care about her” showing that men are getting involved.

According to Nellie N’yangwa who is the Country Director for OXFAM Zambia, the “I care about her campaign” is aimed at tackling GBV.

“The levels of GBV in Zambia have gone quite high and are been committed openly with impunity yet society is in full view of what is happening with not much been done.” Ms N’yangwa says

She adds that the increase in violence is actually by close relatives making it not only a criminal but also a social problem as it occurs in situations where the victim ought to feel safe.

Despite courts meting out stiffer sentences the cases have continued to rise meaning that different tactics have to be employed.

Because as a nation we have begun in a way to ignore such cases and to view violence by one gender against another as normal, it is time for an attitude switch.

Changing attitudes is one of the things the campaign is aimed at doing and this entails identifying what and whose attitudes need to be changed.

It is vital to recognise that though cases of GBV are perpetrated by both sexes the men encompass the majority of abusers.

The fact that many abusers justify their acts of violence is worrying and just downright scary.

John Mambo a 40 year old resident of Garden Compound in Lusaka admits to beating or as he puts it “wiring his wife, Chanda.”

“Yes I do hit her but she deserves it, I am the man of the house, sometimes I come home and she has not cooked or she starts asking me unnecessary questions about where I have been.  

I cannot have any of that. She has the option of leaving but she stays.” He says arrogantly

Attitudes like these are not uncommon and they have to ultimately be tackled but with the help of the Community abusers and their victims live in.

We live in a society of silence one where the community believes marital matters should not be pried into regardless of the visible scars of a wife in the morning.

Chanda’s neighbours will undoubtedly hear her cries as her husband hits her, they will hear her children’s cries for aid but they choose to turn a blind eye.

Society’s attitudes to violence border on acceptance of the norm dismissing it as African, the community will weep for the wife who has died from the wounds of her husband’s beating but will rarely stop the fight.

The other vital sector that OXFAM has identified in the fight against GBV is the justice framework (judicial and traditional) which Ms N’yangwa says consists of mainly men.

“The people who are mandated to provide justice also have attitudes; the police, courts are key players thus when they change their attitudes women will receive more justice.” She says.

She adds that OXFAM is carrying out the campaign with organisations such as Young Women’s Christian Association (YWCA) and Women’s Lobby who have men’s networks.

Golden Nachibinga who is the Coordinator for the Men’s network of the Women’s Lobby says the primary role of the Women’s Lobby is mobilisation of its members for sensitisation of communities.

“We also encourage our members to not only talk to other men about GBV but also for them to be good role models in their homes and communities.”Mr Nachibinga adds

Men have a responsibility to protect their family; children, older women look to protection from their fathers and sons and it is vital for men to realise that they have that role, says Ms N’yangwa.

When one asks women to describe men these days the responses gotten can be very insightful and disappointing.

Comments such as “ men are animals and  men should not be trusted” are the most common, worse off is the fact that even wives will rarely leave home without their daughters in tow as Chanda attests.

“Men cannot be trusted; my husband John hits me why would I trust him with my two year old daughter with so many cases of defilement around.” She says

The concept of manhood has been disintegrated, trust has been distorted and OXFAM believes that there should be men who must be angry with the distortion of their gender.

It is these men as well as those who are in authority, those who are sit in traditional and legal justice systems, the street men who rip a woman’s clothes it is they that the ‘I care about her campaign’ is looking to for they are the key to change.

The campaign which started last year has put up bill boards with different messages in various places in Lusaka, Mongu, Kafue and other towns.

Ms N’yangwa says that it is very interesting to note that people call and sometimes even go to the OXFAM offices to report cases of abuse which they refer to the police.

She says that the billboards have proved to be effective in that sense adding that the panel discussions on Television and Radio also generate a lot of debate.

The phone- in panel discussion programmes usually involve male panellists and she cites cases were some men have called in to justify their violence but have been challenged by panellists.

The Country director says that one of the heights of the campaign was the 16 days of Gender activism march past where there were over 600 men marching something which proved that there are good men out there.

“We realised that there are men who are fed up with the levels of GBV but their concern was what to do and how to do it.”

 She says that this is why this year they want to move men into action using Community based men’s groups.

“We will provide materials and will expect them to monitor their communities and sensitize young males as well as recruit men at different levels.

We also want to have a hero’s programme where we will reward communities and individuals that have reacted and stopped actions of GBV.” 

Ms N’yangwa   adds that they want to put a lot of publicity on cases.

She says according to an in-house survey she carried out involving the males at the office many men would do anything to protect their mother, wife and daughter.

“The challenge lies in making these men understand that if they allow by keeping quiet and allowing other women to get violated, you are building a world where anything can happen, but to protect your children and loved ones you deal with the environment out there.” Nellie N’yangwa advises

Her words ring true because it is time that someone told abusers and the society that violence is a vicious cycle today it may be your neighbour but tomorrow your mother and daughter.

The change starts with looking at the woman in your life and affirming that “you care about her. ”